Is it enough?

As I angled my car into the parking space, nose first, gently tapping the curb with the passenger side front tire, I spotted him out of the corner of my eye. Tall, with a navy colored v-neck sweater and a closely cropped haircut, he had his back to me, but I know he saw me as he was wrapping up his brief conversation with the lady walking by on the Lakeshore Avenue sidewalk. Perhaps more deliberately than usual, I turned off the ignition, unfastened my seat belt, gathered my phone and keys and opened the door. Instead of taking the most direct route to my destination, I walked around the car parked to my left, taking care to look straight ahead with the insouciance of a football fan at a futbol match, and yet acutely aware.

You'd have to be crazy or absurdly careless not to pay attention to your surroundings around here, especially at night. I don't necessarily feel like I'm in danger when I'm out and about in this town, but I am always on my p's and q's. It's in those details where the Devil lies, many times. So, while I was not intimidated or frightened, I was not at all taking the situation lightly. Just when I thought that I might be in the clear, he spoke.

"Say, brotha, could you spare a little something?" he asked.

Irritated that my invisible juice had clearly worn off and simultaneously ashamed of myself for trying not to acknowledge this man, I made that universal gesture that suggested I hadn't clearly heard all that he had said.

"Perhaps I'll get you on the way out," I said, patting the pockets in my sweatpants for something that even remotely resembled some spare change.

"I'd appreciate it...I haven't eaten all day," he continued.

In actuality, I had a very precise amount of money in my pocket, just enough to get a Laurel Salad at Hollywood Pizza. I didn't really anticipate any change. But then it started tugging at me. My conscience, that is. This man said he was hungry. While I too was hungry and rather short on funds these days, I did have something. That put me squarely ahead of him in this scenario. But why should my belly be full while this man goes without? I took 3 more steps and as I was nearing the entrance to my destination I took 2 more rather indecisive steps, stopped, did an about face and sought out this man.

"You say you're hungry? Would you like something from here?" I inquired.

"Nah...um..my teeth..um..there's a chicken special 'round the corner...," he mumbled, as I now noticed his nearly toothless countenance.

Did he say he'd rather eat chicken because he had no teeth? Is he turning down food that I'm offering to buy him? Is he really hungry? Does he really need money to eat, or to feed some other habit? Is it wrong for me to be doubting or questioning this hungry man? I left it alone and walked back into the restaurant to place my order. I looked at the 4 one dollar bills in my hand and the 9 quarters that I pulled out of my pocket. This was going to be just enough for me to get the salad that I wanted. But if I did, there would be nothing left to donate to his cause. Momentarily, I struggled with this. I guess I could get something smaller. Perhaps I'd even use the credit card that I can ill afford to increase the balance any further upon. If I did that, then we could both eat. But, I almost forgot, he doesn't want to eat here. Perhaps I should walk down to the chicken spot with him to get him some food there. "What chicken spot?" I thought to myself. It's dark out here and the street is pretty deserted. Should I really be walking down the street with some cat that I don't know? This scene seems all too familiar.

A few weeks ago, I haggard looking lady hurried across the street to ask me to give her some money so that she could get some french fries. Again, not wanting anyone to go hungry, I walked with her into a restaurant some 20 feet away and offered to buy those fries. For about 30 seconds, she listened as I started to order the fries.

"I don't want these nasty fries..these china man can't make no fries...," she protested. "I want to get mine from JJ's!"

Surprised and yet unamused at the outburst, I cancelled the order and considered cancelling this whole charade, since I didn't really feel like walking a block to JJ's so that she could get some fries, or worse, make up some other excuse as to why she would rather have the cash. I gave her a dollar and went about my merry way.

Back to this evening again, I contemplated the same thing. Ultimately, I charged some food for myself, and gave him $2 cash on the way out. Was that enough? Did my money really do enough to help him? Should I have taken the time to walk him somewhere to get the food? He said thank you and I guess I felt good about having helped him eat. I tried not to watch him as I got into my car, but I couldn't help but notice that he had started up the street and then stopped again to ask somebody else for something. I really hope that I helped to provide a temporary fix for his hunger issue and I didn't finance his latest fix. Is it my business to worry about such things? Wouldn't the Lord have me be charitable all the time with the knowledge that he will provide for me regardless? I guess I'll let Him handle this one because only he knows that man's heart and mine.