G.O.A.T.

Kyra Sedgwick stars in the Number 1 drama of all time on cable television.

Catch all new episodes of Tyler Perry's House of Payne, the number 1 comedy of all time on cable television.

The folks in the advertising department down at TNT have struck gold with their current ad campaign. They're making claims in these ads that sound oh so impressive. When they showed Kyra Sedgwick looking like a female super cop in the Clint Eastwood mold, moving in slow motion so that her hair caught the light in just the right way. Number 1 of all time! Wow! Dallas? Hill Street Blues? Lost? ER? NYPD Blue? Nah, none of those are the number 1 drama of all time, on cable television. The Sopranos? The Wire? Six Feet Under? Nope. Those were on HBO and they didn't have commercials. Forget James Gandolfini, Larry Hagman, Joan Collins, or Anthony Edwards and George Clooney from ER. It's all about Kyra Sedgwick. Who? Yeah, Kyra Sedgwick. You know...she was in Phenomenon with John Travolta. Don't remember? Yeah, me neither. Well, maybe. Vaguely. Number 1 drama of all time...on cable television...with commercials.

Tyler Perry's crew has risen to the heights as well. That loud girl in the window from School Daze (Cassi Davis) that uttered the famous, "Your face is cracked...and on the ground!" which would go down in the annals of the greatest lines during a game of The Dozens of all time, is one of the stars. Little Allen Payne has come all the way from stints as the kid from the hood that went bucket for bucket with Will Smith in the battle of kids from the other side of the tracks ballin' at prep schools on The Fresh Prince, to Jason's Lyric and even Vampire in Brooklyn is there too. Number 1 comedy series of all time...on cable television...on a network that starts shows at 5 minutes after the hour. Oh wait, that's TBS. Tomato, to-mah-to...

Not to take anything away from Kyra or the House of Payne folks, but I can't help but be amused by these commercials every time that I see them. I haven't seen The Closer, but calling it the Number 1 show of all time is a pretty bold statement, considering the heavy hitters mentioned above. It might actually be a good show. I may have to check it out. I HAVE seen House of Payne though, and couldn't even make it through an entire episode. You know that look that those guards that stand out in front of Queen Elizabeth's crib have when they're on their post? That was my face as I watched that show. I couldn't even crack a smile, let alone laugh. Maybe what the TNT advertising department meant was Number 1 Comedy Show of All Time...on a cable television network...based in Atlanta...whose matriarch is from Holly Springs, Mississippi...and created by a guy that sometimes wears a dress in his movies. Yeah, they've definitely got that category on lock. That would be like me saying that I'm the greatest writer of all time...that wears size 15 shoes...that is the product of a bi-racial marriage...and loves to watch cartoons...and flys business class...and that has fingers on his left hand that are perpendicular to one another. Yeah, I've got that on lock.