Lazy on the Links

I'm always so impressed by folks that get out there and network like there's no tomorrow. I don't dislike networking and I am never short of opportunities to network. I just lack the motivation sometimes. Correction: I lack the motivation a lot of times. I have the skills and the personality to effectively network, but its such a chore for me. I don't know why, but I've grown even more moody in my old age.

When I was in college, I was always out there. If there was a luncheon where I might be sitting next to some Silicon Valley exec, I was there eagerly eating my asparagus, rice pilaf and chicken breast. Professional conferences? I was there wearing my suit and tie and mixing it up with peers as well as potential employers. From my mid to late 20s I had a whole list of bright young people that were into so many different things whom I could call upon at a moment's notice to discuss new opportunities or to get some advice on things. At its height, network included VP's at Fortune 500 companies, doctors, lawyers (even partners in major firms), professional athletes, coaches, and even the cat (Randall Pinkett) that won Donald Trump's Apprentice. Yes, these numbers were in my phone or at the very least I could email.

But then I got lazy. I got apathetic. The bubble burst. Not only did I get laid off, but most folks in my network got laid off. Couple that with life's other issues and just my usual laid back personality in general and you've got me sitting comfortably in the rocking chair of lazy (no, I'm not going to say religion) lifestyle choices. On a daily basis, I'm most interested in what my next meal will be (if it will be), if I have enough gas to get home, and how will I pay that bill that continues to loom. Another factor has definitely been the changing face of networking. In the tradition of Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd, networking has gone Back to the Future.

What do I mean by that? Well, hold on a second and I'll tell you. Sit down.

I'm sittin'!

Allow me to break it down.

Let it be broke.

You see, it may be 2008, but 1958 is still here. Why 1958 you ask?

Yeah, brotha, why 1958?

Well, I'll tell you. Here we were thinking that life was good and we were all becoming the capitalists capitalist riding our stock options and negative amortization mortgages off into the sunset, sippin' cosmos and appletinis, and keeping some Cuban cigars deftly balancing on our bottom lips like a bunch of Big Willies when it all went south. Many of us tried to pull ourselves up, brush off the dirt and get back on the horse. Some, however, decided against that course of action. Some said they would never work for somebody else again. That's great. All you need is an idea. This country was built on great ideas. But that idea can be tough to come by, and when you're sittin' on that big mortgage payment each month, you don't have lots of time to sit around and come up with it. Luckily, there is always the business-in-a-box model where somebody else has already come up with an idea and you just have to execute and voila! You're your own boss. Some of these boast an actual service and allow you to be an actual brick and mortar company with real employees, real products and real services. This is kind of how the franchise opportunity model works. You're not Papa John, but Papa John has devised a formula for you to follow so that you too can make Papa John Pizzas. Subway has done this and we all know the Golden Arches were built upon this as well. This is good honest work, but its not for everybody. It can be a lot more roll-up-the-sleeves than some people want to deal with.

There are whole groups of folks that would much rather employ their soft skills and exploit the relationships that they have in order to make a living. (Exploit can be such a dirty word. Perhaps you can assume that I'm using it in the best possible light. Or can you?) On the surface, this model still relies on customers to buy products. You gotta imagine that this is what Jay van Andel and Rich De Vos had in mind when they started Amway. They had the products, and all you needed to do was distribute the inventory. You could go at your own pace, but there were definitely incentives for being a top distributor or top performer in this scenario. Technically, you were working for yourself, since you controlled the flow of inventory and you alone drove the sales of said inventory. But why buy from your buddy Joe across the street when you can get the same product from the supermarket? Joe's an alright cat and all, but he might not be home when you need whatever you need. Meanwhile, Safeway is open. You can get what you need and probably at or near the same price. When called on this, Joe and any of his peers would finally fess up that it's not really about the products, but the network. Joe would eventually try to sign you up and even allow you to sell product to yourself. What a guy, that Joe. Now you're in Joe's network and Joe not only gets paid for selling product, but he also gets paid because you're selling product. Not to be outdone, you recruit a friend of yours so that you can out-Joe Joe. Suddenly everybody wants to cut out the middle man. Pretty soon, you are tapping into every network that you ever had. First there were just some random people that you knew from the gym and you had half-heartedly discussed some real estate and stock tips while waiting your turn for the squash game. Next you hit the soccer moms and then the PTA and a couple of co-workers at your real job. After all of that was exhausted you started to hit your friends. No, your real friends. Family even. It got to the point where nobody really wanted to talk to you or take your calls because they knew that the conversation wouldn't get far before you were trying to sell them something.

Too many good soldiers fell off into this cycle and couldn't figure a way out. They jumped from Earth Shattering opportunity to Amazing opportunity and played themselves right out of employability, let alone any social life to speak of, as said opportunities took up all of their time. Funny thing about good soldiers is that they both exhibit and deserve loyalty, so you do them the courtesy of hearing them out a time or two. Unfortunately, in so doing, you now distrust anything that is presented as an opportunity and shy away from anyone that somebody would "like you to meet" for whatever reason. You retreat back into your own comfort zone and avoid nebulous networking activities like the plague. Or maybe that's just me.

But networkers are tricky. They are resilient. They adapt to the environment and find new ways to survive and thrive. Kind of like a virus. Instead of enticing you with a continental breakfast or a lunch, they appeal to your professional need to be on the cutting edge. They send you email invitations to exchange information for the purpose of networking. Pretty soon, you're being asked to share pictures on Ringo. You're being asked for your resume on Linked In. You're invited to do your thing on Doostang. They want you to do the same on Naymz...and also to give somebody a reputation assessment.

Some want you to join MySpace or Facebook. I just can bring myself to do these. At least the others entice you under the guise of exchanging professional information, job contacts, resumes and such, but these seem to be predicated on making another type of more personal connection. I don't dig the whole online hook-up scene, so I can't just sit by and act like I'd be comfortable having strange people request me as their friend. To date I have not joined any of these sites except for Linked In, but don't really see the value in that so far yet. Well, in all honesty, I'm sure that I have not nearly explored all of the features that this tool has to offer. Perhaps I will find some incredible advantages to using Linked In when I finally use it to its fullest, but don't hold your breath. Furthermore, definitely do not hold your breath for me to exchange pictures and friends lists on MySpace or anything of that genre. I can barely carve out enough time get a blog entry in here with some regularity, so I don't have alot of confidence that I would be uploading photos of the Boys Night Out as soon as I got back to my computer.

One of my friends did make a fairly compelling case for Facebook recently though, so I have it on my to-do list to investigate that one. It's right there behind do my taxes, organize my closet space, and go furniture shopping. Apathy's ugly head stays visible 'round these parts.