I was just watching the Thomas Crown Affair on Spike TV. This is another of the handful of movies that I watch just about every time they come on. (Fight Club, Top Gun, Mo'Betta Blues, etc.) This is the Pierce Brosnan iteration, not the 1968 film featuring Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway. Pierce seems to have really hit his stride in this one, and Rene Russo never looked this good. I never really bought into Pierce as 007, and he was iiiiight in Remington Steele. But he's solid in this one, very well spoken and understated and smoooooooth. I think that's what I like about this movie. No, well..ok..that and the whole being Thomas Crown thing.
He's getting chauffered around in a Maserati limo, flying a glider down to some remote Caribbean island, chillin' in museums,...he's the Man! Wouldn't everyone like his life. The super sleuth that is hot on his trail (Russo) is..well, HOT! He's a gourmet chef and wines and dines at all of the fancy restaurants and even without reservations. He's got a mean collection of original art in his house and can even loan some to the museum if they need something. Life is good. I think I want to be Thomas Crown when I grow up. Actually, I'm already on my way there. If Jay-Z can be the Black Brad Pitt, why can't I be the Black Thomas Crown? Wait a minute, why do "we" always have to be the Black version of something. Maybe Brad Pitt really wants to be Denzel Washington. Maybe at the country club, Brad is calling himself the White Will Smith. Maybe up on Harvard Yard, they refer to themselves as the Morehouse of the North. But, I digress. I was in the middle of explaining why it's so hard to tell the difference between me and Thomas Crown.
I'm smooth. I've got the gift of eloquence. I always know just what to say. Like when I was getting off the plane a few weeks ago, wearing khaki pants, and an off-white button down shirt under my navy blue pea coat and rimless, brown tinted, Ralph Lauren glasses and one of the flight attendants made her way over to me to ask me if I was a model.
"Uh..me? No." I said, looking around to make sure that she was indeed talking to me.
Of course, there 5 of 10 better responses came to mind the moment I stepped out of the plan and started to walk up into the terminal.
5. Me? Yes. I just finished a shoot late last evening and I'm just spent (gesturing about the glasses).
4. Shhhh. (putting my index finger to my lips) I was doing so well hiding here in the back row. Please don't alert the others.
3. No...but I get that all the time. It's not easy being this dashing.
2. Oh BEHAVE! To whom shall I autograph this magazine cover?
1. Flattery will get you nowhere. No run out there and make sure the papparazzi are gone.
I've got the cool art collection. There aren't exactly any Renoirs or Monets in my crib, but I've got some cool prints. It looks like you're going through the jazz section of the Smithsonian, if I do say so myself. I've been to the museum twice in the last couple of months. No, it wasn't the Metropolitan Museum, but the Oakland Museum of California and it's free on 2nd Sundays. I took my kids.
Most days, I don't drive to the office. Like Mr. Crown, I don't go everyday. I stroll into a meeting sometimes and I rarely drive myself there. The driver of a Fremont bound train opens the door for me when it's time for me to get out and he doesn't even have to walk around the car to do so. It opens automatically.
He's got a bowler hat and I've got baseball hats. I'd have Nina Simone playing in the action scene of a movie about me too. You didn't realize just how much alike we really were, huh?
Steal a painting? Advantage, Crown. I can't even steal cable. I don't even think I've ever successfully snuck into the movies. Well, maybe when I was about 12 or 13, but not since I've been this size. Speaking of size, and cable. Suddenly, my 42" flat screen doesn't seem so big anymore. I saw a story on Good Morning America about a 108" unit and now this seems woefully inadequate. Oh well. Maybe when I grow up and become Thomas Crown, my house will be the permanent Superbowl party location.
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