Scary

I’ve been invited to a Halloween party and suddenly have this anxiety about dressing up in a costume. This shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but strangely enough it is. I haven’t dressed up for Halloween since I was in the 5th grade, and have not missed it one bit. Every year I see people making a big deal about getting just the right costume and I’m glad that I generally ignore this whole charade, save for accompanying my children from house to house as they amass a fortune in candy immense enough to make Willy Wonka stare in amazement.

Suddenly, I’m right in the middle of it. I’m not excited enough to want to get some incredibly elaborate costume, but also don’t want to show up dressed as a ghost, with eye wholes cut out of some white sheet and be ridiculed by my friends for not putting enough effort into my selection. I don’t want to get anything that is too far out of character for me or anything that is morally objectionable (Pimp, inflatable fallous) or anything too stupid like a muscle bound man or a pirate.

Undoubtedly, I will arrive at this party feeling utterly ridiculous and will immediately see somebody wearing something that I decided against and wish that I hadn’t as they are the hit of the party. I’ll be self-conscious all night and try to hang out in one part of the room so as to not draw a lot of attention to myself, probably close to the table with all of the hors d’ouevres. It’ll be like when I was in 9th grade and had to dress up for an event only to discover that my summer growth spurt had been a little more pronounced than I had realized as my grey slacks were not nearly long enough to conceal my blue and burgundy argyle socks. Furthermore, as I look through the catalog of items on the Halloween superstore website I am not confident that all of the costumes featured will look the same on somebody my height. I could end up looking EXTRA ridiculous when it’s all said and done. Oh well, I’ll work it out. Perhaps a picture will make it to this site next week. Stay tuned.