Who needs Botox?

I was walking back from the gym this morning and noticed this man that just turned the corner and was now going head-on into some bright morning sunshine. He made the most disturbing facial expression you ever saw. His left eye was squinted all up and his head was turned to the right as if he preferred to let the left side of his face take the brunt of the punishment. His jaw jutted out like Bubba from Bayou La Batre, Alabama and his mouth was partially opened like Popeye. He maintained this posture for several steps until some buildings finally provided another stretch of shade for him. Unfortunately, the contortion claimed his face once again when his shady oasis ended.

He's not the first person I've seen do this. In fact, I see people all of the time making some crazy faces. The faces make them look like things are a lot worse than they are. Inevitably, you'll see somebody at the gym that looks like they are lifting the weight of the whole building right there from the bench press and maybe even grunting right along with it. Is all of that really necessary? You don't have to prove to me that you're working hard. One of my other "favorites" is the person at the desk job that is trying to act like the job is just way too taxing for them as they exhale loudly about every 15 seconds, and shake their heads while muttering to themselves about how much work they have or about how they are just too busy to take on anything else.

I think its all of these characters that motivate me to keep such an even keel, and for it to show. I try really hard to walk down the street and not have my facial expression change no matter how bright or how windy it is around the corner. I don't care if that hole in the ozone layer that they're always talking about is letting a good solid ray of uninhibited sunshine directly through and it is singeing the eyelashes right off my eyelids. I'm not going to let it show. Whenever I catch myself wrinkling up my brow, I make myself smile it away. The exhaling? Of course not. My ancestors would be so ashamed if I took to this in place of the spirituals and whistling of their day. It's not that bad. It doesn't have to look like it is.